I flipped someone the bird today. It was a weak bird, I didn’t really know how to do it 😞. I did it in a fit of rage. I was so angry because I felt he showed me zero grace or compassion. I was trying to cross the lane to go over to the other side. There was enough room for the both of us, but he decided he alone deserved that lane, and I had to back up. In his heart, I was in the wrong and he was in the right. I asked if he was really trying to be mean right now? I yelled and asked him twice if he really wanted to be mean. He stopped his car in front of mine gesturing for me to back up or we would both go nowhere. I made an attempt to go around him, but he blocked me off. So in a fit of rage I cursed him. Telling him may his wickedness come back to him and may he never find anyone to show him mercy. Then I flipped the weak bird finger, backed-up and took a different lane. I became very sorrowful afterwards and asked God for forgiveness. At first, I asked for mercy mostly for flipping him the bird.

By the end of my conversation with God, I was begging for mercy for not turning the other cheek and loving an enemy (Matthew 5: 33-44). But in the midst of me wrestling with what happened this morning, I realized my wrestling isn’t just with him. My wrestling is with this world, and the way people have zero compassion. People use rules to flog other people. I thought of Jesus being so frustrated he cursed a fig tree, or when he told some people their father was the devil 😈.

It’s easy to get frustrated in this world, especially this generation. Everyone is at fault, but the hardest thing to do is tell yourself you are at fault too. I’m not telling this story to make any profound statement. I’m telling this story because my wrestling with my inner man for today is done, and I’m practicing improving my writing/blogging skills. I hope you find time to wrestle with yourself sometime too ❤️.