Category Archives: General

A penny for my thoughts? What’s a million thoughts per second worth?

I sit here every night pondering and wondering why life and humanity is the way it is. Better yet, why I see life the way I do and no one else (at least no one that I know) sees it that way? Each day I feel like writing my thoughts down, but I always end up avoiding the pain in these emotions, by playing candy crush soda. It’s usually a lot easier, at least for a while.
All the same, here I am. Unable to avoid my pen any longer. Finally writing my emotions at 3.30am in the morning, thanks to the delusive tool that is Facebook.
 It’s funny how certain things come across as useful, yet they have a way of doling out society’s ugly and disgusting traits, or life’s ugliness, pain, and emptiness. For example, I log onto Facebook 2 days ago and find out someone I grew up with as a kid has passed away. I cry my eyes out and can’t bring myself to write a simple RIP on her Facebook wall. All I want to say is; I’m sorry I never stayed in touch. I’m sorry I never took a moment in time to ask you how life’s treating you, or ask you if you’re doing ok! I’m sorry is all I can think of. Yet I’m sorry isn’t really enough. 
Yesterday I logged onto Facebook again (24hrs after my mental breakdown from realizing an old friend is dead) and I see a picture of the most adorable baby trending on Facebook. With lots of comments from my friends, I decide to check out who this adorable baby belongs to. Turns out an old friend who deleted me off Facebook and cut me out of his life just had this beautiful baby. I’m thrilled for him. However, I can’t help but wonder if this baby will grow up being brainwashed and biased like its dad. See, the only reason my good old friend cut me off is because I posted the phrase “Happy Rosh Hashanah” on Facebook. We had a heated argument about the State of Israel. I was pro Israel, and he was pro Palestine. He hated Israel, and I loved both Israel and Palestine. For him, he couldn’t bring himself to be associated with someone he termed “A Jew Lover”. Even though we once lived in the same building, shared a couple of drinks after work, and shared lots of laughs and fun memories, he was done with me the second he learned I was in anyway remotely pro-Jews…. I still stare at our pictures and wonder how anyone could hate Israel that much???? I’ve never really understood the concept of prejudice.  Needless to say, mental breakdown part 2 set in. I quickly logged off and went back to bed. 
I logged on to Facebook again this morning (Addictive habit, this Facebook thing). I saw posts by someone I’d been trying to reach for weeks. I scroll through her page and see she’s doing fine. Actually she’s doing better than fine. She’s passionate about a group that I think is a ‘little cultish group’ (luckily I’ve kept my opinion about this group to myself). Turns out she really doesn’t give a flippity flop about me, and I’m just a bleep in her radar. One of many bleeps, and nothing more than a numbers filler. I see how everyone purrs at her and give her loads of attention. I see how everyone I’m connected to through her is no different from her. I look away because obviously envy is a sin. I’ll do myself some good by not becoming envious. 
However, she’s got me thinking. What purpose do we serve or achieve by staying connected to unnecessary people? Why do we spend time kissing the asses of mean conceited people and the ones with true love in their hearts waste away right before our eyes? The time I spent texting her, would have been time I spent saying hello to my now dead friend. I can’t help but compare my humble and meek dead friend to this conceited and overly inflated ego’ed acquaintance (see how my perception of her has shifted from friend to acquaintance). 
I’m exhausted from having to ponder society’s many disgusting traits. It’s easy for many to avoid it. It’s hard for me  to disconnect myself from it all. Whenever I write, it’s always in pain. I’ve been told I write way too many dark poems. Maybe it’s because we live in a dark world and we only choose to see and believe what we want to…
I’m exhausted. I should get some sleep. 
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Love, Life and Poetry

Naughty Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving……………..

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It’s Cool Whip time!
4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!
5. That’s one terrific spread!
6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
10. Don’t play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up

happy turkey…

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Chuck Prince once said “We have to dance till the music stops”… If you didn’t know, Chuck Prince used to be my boss’s boss. I loved him, looked up to him as a genius, and everyday i’m still reminded of the meaning behind this phrase. But as years pass by, i’ve come to realize, just as we must dance while the music plays, we must also learn to know when the music has stopped. Because eventually the music will stop, time will pass and all you’re left with is the memory of those beats and the adrenaline rush while you danced.

Was it a good dance or not? only time tells. Still, in your heart, you will know if your feet and passion carried you on the winds of time towards your destiny.

Eventually the music will stop. When it does, you must learn to walk again and carry-on like you never danced. Things will be tough once again, but remembering that you once danced gives you the fire you need to create a new opportunity to dance again.

Ask yourself these questions. Are you still dancing when the music has stopped? Do you even know how to tell time? Do you know how to listen up for the beat? do you know when its your queue to dance? better yet, do you think i’m still talking about music and dance 🙂

Subliminal and abstract messaging is my thing, What’s yours? 🙂


Today, i’ve come to realize we’re sort of all the same in the way we think and process our experiences. From the little memories we think we’ve forgotten, to the faults we find in others and subconsciously respond to, or NOT respond to in our own quirky way. Somehow, we’re all counting our neighbor’s faults and paying little attention to ours.

I learnt of something called “Record Collection” this week. I had taken a job related assessment and this “Record Collection” index was part of the evaluation. The aim of the assessment was to have a low score in the “Record collection” index, along with some other risk pointing flags like; Need for approval, Control of emotions (aka emotional maturity) and Money weakness. I ended up with a relatively high score (which by the way was a huge Red Flag) in my Record Collection index.

Now you would think this is a good thing right? like the more you’re able to remember every tiny detail or experience, the better you would be at making apt decisions, right? But not according to this assessment, and not for the purpose of the assessment. Certain choices and/or positions require the ability to be “Selectively and whole heartedly forgetful”.

Not to bug you down with unnecessary jargon, i’ll cut down to the chase and explain what this index means and what scoring a high figure meant for me. Dr. Roger Birkman was the first to postulate that for each of us, our choices, reactions, likes, dislikes and everyday behavior is pretty much set in stone, except we experience a life changing ordeal like, losing a loved one, coming close to death etc.. Thus, we can pretty much expect the same response from the same person when put in a specific situation.

The “Record collection index” relates to how our minds gather and store information as we experience different events. For example, when someone tells us No over and over again, our minds will subconsciously store those rejections till we get to a point where we resent that person, or resent our experience of having to ask for something. My scoring a high figure in this index pointed to the fact that i will always remember every experience of being told “NO”, and eventually i would resent being in a position of “having to ask” or being in a position of “expectation”.

This assessment got me thinking of how over the years i’ve lost a couple of friends, and how i never really thought much of my choices and/or attitude influencing other people’s choices. For example, a couple of years ago, i had a friend i really liked. We met in new york and we hit it off like birds of a feather. We loved doing the same things and pretty much did almost everything together. But there was something she didn’t like about me. I’m a really picky person. I’m picky with food, friends, everything. I didn’t realize how much this part of me affected her till it was too late. She would choose a restaurant, and because of my picky nature, i would end up eating little to nothing. I thought the food tasted terrible. She, on the other hand, thought the food was good and i was being rude and condescending. Eventually, she cut me out of her life and never responded to any of my attempts to be in contact with her.

I remember her today because i found out she’s in switzerland doing great things, and even though I’m doing great by myself, i sometimes wonder what we could have created if we teamed up as friends.

The experience from this assessment also made me aware of my choices to forget certain friends. I realized i don’t do very well with rejection. I like to think i take things with a grain of salt, but the truth is, unlike everybody else i REMEMBER every single NO you tell me. I’m generally a very forgetful person. I forget my wedding anniversary, what i had for breakfast, even my daughter’s birthday :(. But sadly for some strange reason I’ll never forget every NO you tell me. 1 too many ‘NOs’ turns you from a close friend to a “Fiend”. Unfortunately, i don’t know how to fix this part of me, but i guess there’s still room to grow.

Hopefully time will tell if this is truly a weakness or a strength. or if there’s any salvation for this thing called ‘Human Relations’.

Or maybe like they say “What is meant to be will be”

If you know how to be selectively and whole heartedly forgetful please do share 🙂


My Book ‘Poetry My Love’ is Out

Finally my book is out in Hard Cover. Please visit the link above to get your copy and many thanks for all your support 🙂


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Happy Holidays to all… Hope yours is full of love and warmth 🙂


Naughty Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving……………..

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It’s Cool Whip time!
4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!
5. That’s one terrific spread!
6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
10. Don’t play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up

happy turkey day to all! Gobble gobble 🙂

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Last Night i was pretty chuffed to see a comment from one of my Favorite Poetic Blogger ‘Anansi‘, telling me i had been nominated for the ‘Family of Bloggers Award’. “Well whoop ti doo” i thought to myself. I didn’t think anyone was paying attention to my blogs let alone think me worthy of this golden Barton :). All the same, Anansi the Poet is a Mighty Fine Poet/writer indeed, and one must consider this Award as equal in value to a pristine gift befitting only for the kings of Endor.

Now here are The Rules of the Award as i have been informed

  1. One must say ‘thank you’ to whomever nominated you.
  2. One must provide a link to their blog.
  3. Using the Art of Anagram, one must utilize the word ‘FAMILY’ in telling us the attributes that one brings to the family of bloggers.
  4. One must finally Nominate at least 4 other people to join one’s family of bloggers, and let them know about their nomination

 

My Anagram

Faith

Astute

Mystery

Inspiration

Love

Yin to every Poetic Yang 🙂

 

Here are my Nominees

The Happy Horror writer – My favorite writer and always happy faced writer gets my first vote

Cristian Mihai – such a good writer that sometimes i wonder if he’s a computer bot?

John Coyote – Another lovely Poet/Story Teller

5 mins a day – just gotta love his blogs 🙂

PoetMagic – For the Inspiration


I once told a friend; “History is repetitive and to know where one stands in the timeline of events, is to know one’s own destiny”. My dear friend could barely understand what in the world i was talking about. Unfortunately, its hard to put these words into perspective for everyone, but i will try to explain these words throughout the body of this post.

First of, let me point out that whenever i write, be it poetry, a blog or a short story, it’s usually based on an emotion I’m feeling in that very moment, however fleeting it may be. Anger, pain, melancholy, sadness or remorse. Sadly i never seem to be able to write when I’m happy. Wether this is a good thing or a bad thing, only time and soon-to-be history will tell.

Today the emotion is that of anger mixed with disappointment, grief and maybe a little bit of melancholy, all because I observed someone use the Scripture as a tool for making someone else feel terrible and worthless. Wether this was done on purpose, out of spite or out of ignorance I cannot tell. But I cant help but notice how something that is meant as a tool for good can so easily over time become a weapon for Evil and ignorance.

Unfortunately, we are a forgetful species, and like hamsters, we’re stuck in the repetitive evils of past generations. Today we fight for freedom of religion, and we cling to the premise that; our founding father’s conquered these lands that we may be free to serve God whichever way we want as free Men. Yet we criticize, chastise and demonize those who do not serve GOD the way we want them to. We seem to have forgotten 2 key facts. The fact that the founding fathers fought for their independence from England to flee 1) a Church that dictated how one must worship GOD and 2) a theocratic government that laid exorbitant taxes on the weak, needy and poor.

We forget that once upon a time under the roman empire, christianity was a capital offense and the early disciples (who by the way were devout jews NOT Apostates) laid their lives not for the founding of a new ‘Religion’, but for the establishment of GOD’s purpose and promises on the face of the earth.

When we speak, we forget history. We forget Greece and Hellenism, Rome and the likes of Nero, Caligula and the imperial cult. We forget the dark ages, the reformation, the black plague and the puritans. The Spanish inquisitions and the cold wars. We forget and make little to no attempt to remember.

Perhaps we are a doomed species. Perhaps it’s the way it is, because this is the way it should be. Maybe ignorance is destined to be our burden! Then again, maybe we are consciously ignorant that evolution may be perfected in our weaknesses and judgement is justified when executed on us. Even then, surely the stench of our ignorance is strong enough to quicken our feeble minds and selfish hearts.

All the same, this is not to say there aren’t a few good men. And maybe, just maybe it’s the few good ones that make it all worthwhile. As the sages say; GOD will allow the world to continue existing as long as there are 36 Tzadikim Nistarim (Righteous People). Yet, it’s hard to sit back and watch an hypocritical and self-absorbed generation relive the ‘sins of the fathers’.

That being said, I’m no judge, neither have I been ordained a judge and this is nothing more than ramblings. Ramblings that I hope leads you to introspection. Ramblings that I hope leads you to break out of a circle of ignorance. Simply because you owe it to yourself and to everyone around you.


There’s a thin line between being a Sexy and outspoken woman vs being a sassy and incessantly annoying trash talking bore. Yep, you heard me right. the latter phrase, however lengthy it is, happens to be the way quite a few ladies are these days. I’m not one to be all conservative and ask ladies to mind their language or their topic of discussion. Matter of fact, i’m extremely liberal and i tend to type the occasional curse words every now and again. However, those who know me in person, know i do try to keep my language clean. Not that i’m trying to be boastful of manners, but i do think there’s a certain air of demeanor when a lady chooses her topics of discussion carefully.

In the dawn of modern social networks like twitter and Facebook, and the breakthrough of writers like EL James, Society is suddenly steaming with what we would like to refer to as “the Modern Day Woman” or “The 21st Century woman”. The woman who is excited about expressing her sexuality as a sign of freedom. Like she had just broken the chains of her oppressor – ‘The Neanderthal Man’. The man who restricted her place to the kitchen and the bedroom. The man who wrecked her with emotional abuse and failed to see her strength and all of her beauty. and above all else, the Man who failed to see her as an intelligible equal.

I wanna be a part of this movement as beautiful and inspiring as it sounds, but unfortunately, while some have beautifully pioneered this course, many a young lady have made it a Mock. I see ladies taking the opportunity to make   ’50 shades of Grey’ an all day topic of discussion like some rabid horny dogs. or talk about the man they are crushing on and the things they would love to do to him all day long. Not that this is new or unique to the 21st century but this redundant attitude is unfortunately one of my ‘Pet peeves’. Hence, i’ve taken the liberty of pointing out the differences between a Lady and a Phony.

I believe its always easy to tell when a lady is nothing more than a phony. look at her choice of words and the recurring content of her conversations. Does she at 1 point try to sound intellectual and then 10mins later sound like a sex worker? does she use words that are particular to a geographic location she’s never lived in? and most importantly what’s the intention behind her conversation?

I hate to say this ladies, but if all you talk about is Sex, PMS, 50 shades of grey, the guy who’s face you would like to sit on, and then occasionally throw in a few news related conversations, trust me sweetie, you’re a “Dud” and a failed experiment. A real woman doesn’t appear to “know” or be intelligent, she actually knows and is Intelligent. A real 21st century woman doesn’t blow her trumpet. her reputation precedes her, She has real results. she has made tangible accomplishments. When a real woman chooses to use the F word or the V word or any other offensive language, its usually in rebellion and for a course she’s passionate about. The other 80% of the time when she talks dirty, its behind closed doors whilst she’s making passionate love to the man she loves with all of her heart.

A 21st century woman isn’t afraid to visit Ann Summers and buy what’s needed to explore her sexuality either alone or with the man she adores. A real woman isn’t religious, she’s spiritual. And above all else, she’s a go-getter.

I guess its ok to be a phony, but ladies, ask yourself 1 question; wouldn’t it be so much more fun if you would just go ahead and be the real deal?



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